Fear, you suck!

Fear really sucks.  It can be considered a good thing that many times protects us.  However, it can also be very paralyzing.
I’m afraid of staying in Tucson… of staying here out of ease and not pushing myself to be better.
I’m afraid of moving to Pennsylvania (or anywhere actually) and falling flat on my face… and then being stuck there or stuck back at my hometown.
I’m afraid of believing in myself and then having to live with myself if I fail.  It’s funny that failing in that sense would be so embarrassing for a me when I usually have so little shame.
I’m afraid when it comes to my health care and medical coverage…  Starting meds and missing doses…  Starting meds and not being able to get them.
I’m afraid of not living up to my fullest potential.
I’m afraid that my fullest potential isn’t as full as I think it is.

See… fear sucks.  Right now I’m caught in this in-between.  I need to make a move, but fear has made it very hard.  When I try to remove the aspect of fear I end up fearing I’ll do something irrational.  Soooo… I feel a bit paralyzed.

Writing this I feel like I need to take a step of faith.  I need to continue pushing forward with moving to in October and starting school in the spring.  I need to believe in myself and know that I will do fine in school.  It’s a big change, but I feel it’s needed.  Above all else… this has to be something I do for me.

No fear!!

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